Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov

My preferred genre of reading material is fiction, but once in a while I come across a book that I enjoy almost as much as I enjoy my normal reading material. Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov is one of those books.  The book is a ‘self-help’ book, or a guide for women about relationships with men.   The tag line of the book reads “Let him chase you until you catch him”. She tackles on answering questions such as ‘why do men deliberately push a women’s emotional buttons’ and ‘how can you invite proposal without saying a word’

Unlike normal self-help books, this one is not in the least boring. In fact, it’s one of the funniest books I have read in a long time.  I must even admit that after reading the book twice, I sometimes used to revisit the guide of “relationship principles”. In her book she gives the relationship principles, yet she explains it to you with tongue-in-the-cheek humor and downright silly/funny stories.  Here is one of them:

Imagine a world in which roles were reversed and men cooked for women, picked up socks, and couldn’t wait to get married. Pretend you had a boyfriend who owned a hope chest with six lavender bow ties inside that he wanted his groomsmen to wear at the wedding. Picture him getting choked up every time you strolled past a Baby Gap. And that he greeted you at the door wearing silk boxers and cowboy boots, so he could do a pole dance for you. Then add a few ultimatums:

“Where’s my ring?
“Why won’t you marry me?”

Chances are, you would assume the guy wasn’t firing on all cylinders. And then you’d start planning your escape. “It’s not you, it’s me. [Translation: It’s definitely you.] I’m too busy with work. I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Then you’d blow out the door…like TNT(Sherry Argov, Why Men Marry Bitches)

Here is her trying to paint a picture explaining to a woman the reason why most men run away when being forced into a commitment, and I must admit if I were to be put into this situation I completely understand. I would run away too!! 😀

In conclusion, I thoroughly enjoyed this book.  When I started out reading this book I thought that maybe this lady is going to tell me something I don’t know already… and quite frankly she didn’t. All the information she gives or talks about in this book are plain common sense. It’s just that we don’t practice it, we conform into how we THINK we should act in a relationship, such as cook and clean for him, be his slave, be docile, when in fact those are the exact things that you shouldn’t be doing (unless you’re married, I think)

If you don’t mind, I would like to discuss some of Sherry’s “relationship principles”

“There’s nothing more prized to a man than something he had to wait for, work for, or struggle a little bit to get.”

I completely agree with this one, Miss Argov. If you hand everything to a man on a silver platter, will he really respect you for it? Why do we make it so easy for them? To me, I personally feel that if you make him work for it he will appreciate you more.

“You can tell how much someone respects you by how much he respects your opinion. If he doesn’t respect your opinion, he won’t respect you.”

This one I have been shown various times and not only by men.  Take a work situation for example… in most cases, if a person don’t want to listen to your opinion it’s more than likely they don’t respect you.  Do we honestly believe that a man who doesn’t respect or value your opinion actually respects us?

“Men are intrigued by anything they do not completly control.”

I don’t even have to say anything  about this one – we all know it is true.

“Truly powerful people don’t explain why they want respect. They simply don’t engage someone who doesn’t give it to them.”

This is one of the reason why many of my acquaintances never become friends.  This applies to every area of your life. If someone treats you badly, they shouldn’t be in your life.

 “Men dont respond to words. what they respond to is no contact.”

OK ladies – this works. And this is common sense!! How many times have you moaned, complained, cried, shouted and screamed and yet he doesn’t listen to you, which only frustrates you more.  This is one of the things I didn’t practice. I always value communication in a relationship.  Then one day I tried this… After telling him how I feel and have him not listen to me or respect my feelings I decided to ignore him.  And guess what? I had numerous missed calls and SMS’d that goes like this “Why are you so quiet?”, “Is something wrong?”, “Why are you not replying!!”, “Where are you!?”, “Are you upset?”… YES I AM UPSET and then finally he listened… 😉

“The only reason men like stupid women is so they can take advantage of them – in a short term. A quality guy worth his salt wants a partner who is competent and multidimensional. Someone who can handle things when he’s not around.”

True. This.

“When a man sees you wearing very revealing clothes, he’ll usually assume you don’t have anything else going for you”

Same here, I have nothing to say.

Have you read her book? If so, which are your favourite quotes?

Image sourced here

Quotes retrieved from goodreads and brokenheart911

You can go check out some more excerpts here (this is also where I got the excerpt from above)

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  • Les

    I remember the day you introduced me to this book. I was actually laughing the whole time I read this book and yes, obviously it all made sense… Some useful information for us women. This book is similar to “Act like a lady, Think like a man”

    • Mel

      Lol yes I do. I have that steve Harvey book too and I will read it after I’m done with my ever growing “to read” list on goodreads.

  • Jannat

    Please send me a free copy of “why men marry bitches ” 🙂
    I’ve read “why men love bitches ” excellent ,very true except that I don’t totally agree on being financially independent on him I believe men like to spend on their women they feel more masculine of course not not to be needy

    • I loved this book. There might be a few things we don’t agree with in the book but I agree with the majority of the content. You are right, men like that and women love being spoilt too but they also like being independent.

      I lost my copy 🙂

  • Jannat

    I’m pulling my hair now lolololoooo I would love to read that but in vain

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  • Well, when I saw the title of this book, I immediately thought of ex-girlfriends. There were three who qualify. They gave me so many problems that I just gave up. The last one however, while she treated me poorly and thus like you said, I was drawn to her. Still, I was drawn to them even before they opened their mouths. It was chemical, certainly physical at the outset. I remember when I met each of them. I thought to myself they were the most beautiful women I had ever seen and I was always walking on eggshells because I was clearly infatuated.

    Over time the drama got to me and I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. I wish the last one would come back and apologize, but I don’t see that happening. So, I pretty much sit here pining for her and when I date other people I can only see the woman I love and want as a faint memory.

    So yes she let me chase her but she didn’t catch me. She was already in a relationship when she started and I guess she felt guilty and called us off. And I should have followed through with my proposal when she first contacted me that she contact me when she was single. That was my first mistake.

    I do agree that with women I am not truly interested in, if I were forced into a commitment, I would run away.

    I don’t think cooking and cleaning, slavery, and docility are variables. I think it is simply that indifference and infatuation are a bad combination. The relationship is about power, when one doesn’t really love the other. Love wants to be helpful. Love doesn’t let the other person make a fool of themselves. If the person they love is doing the dishes, they want to do the dishes with them.

    “There’s nothing more prized to a man than something he had to wait for, work for, or struggle a little bit to get.” There is something true about this. If I saw this woman now and she realized that we were good for each other, then I think I would forgive her. But, I wouldn’t be a push-over.

    I do think women these days are playing games that befuddle men, who work two jobs and are already exhausted, for example. Getting married simply becomes a loosing game. You have to be careful with this issue of making men work for your love. If you don’t love them, leave them alone. It saddens them when someone they care about is playing a game.

    And I respected the opinions of those women. But, all three of them were Republican and in the end, we would argue. So, I am not inclined to believe that there is a correlation with respected opinions and personal respect. I found what they thought to be novel, as parallax views of my own (See: Zizek, The Parallax View).

    There is some truth to the statement: “Men are intrigued by anything they do not completly control,” but then again I don’t think my opinion was respected and so if I felt like my opinion wasn’t valued it made me think that I wasn’t being understood. And so, if your point about women’s opinions not being respected referenced this aspect of disrespect of an idea as an idea rather than an idea that was proven incorrect, then I don’t believe that either gender should dismiss an opinion that is not tested as valid, that’s just poor participation.

    I am not sure that truly powerful people care about being respected. Those who know they are correct only care about the truth, but they also don’t diminish the holder of a falsehood. They try to explain why something is incorrect and if the other party doesn’t understand them, then they hold no grudge unless the person in charge waving the flag of incompetence has power over them, then freedom of the person enslaved by the falsehood of the other is affected and eventually the subconscious of those affected emits a light and a force that makes a correction.

    Men do respond to words but no contact is a loud voice telling them that there is no interest.

    You can ignore them to a point, but the damage that manipulation does is forever in place.

    Men like women who are their equal.

    And a woman wearing revealing clothes is simply a woman wearing revealing clothes. She can turn a man on, but then that’s where the relationship starts. If they have little in common, sex will peter out.

    I have not read her book. I am more interested in what you had to say.

  • Girl

    Can you send me the pdf please. 🙂

  • Ha ha, I read this book in my twenties and it’s fun to see some of those quotes. I agree the most important take-away was putting the advice into practice. Did I follow the advice? Maybe we should ask my husband, LOL!

  • Miss EJM

    I have had this book since forever in a pdf format but never read , I hate reading PDF’s I need a book in my hand, one book I enjoyed was Act like a lady, think like a man….time to read this one too then.

  • Brandon

    Having just the right amount of “bitch” is a good thing and keeps a guy on his toes. But too much of it turns every aspect of the relationship into a power struggle, and that’s the worst!

  • Ndlovukhazi Nosizwe Angelou

    I really want to read this book, i have the pdf of Why Men Love Bitches. Could you email me the PDF of why men marry bitches? please 🙂 sweetnoella1@yahoo.com

  • Talented O Torere

    hello Nosizwe I would love to haave why men love bitches in pdf please email me talentedtk@gmail.com thanks

  • CrazyTom

    I love bitches but not for keeps, just for pumping and dumping. Amen.